Go to Sleep—Don’t Fall Asleep
Why being intentional about sleep is vital to everything you want and need
Always Coveted, Never Sought
You don’t really value sleep.
You might say you do—might even claim it’s what you crave most. But if you look at your actions, your rhythms, your habits? They tell another story. Most people treat sleep like a glitch in the day. A delay. A passive collapse. It’s always coveted, never sought.
I don’t play that game anymore.
Sleep has, in recent years, become one of the most radical things I do for my health.
And I don’t mean radical like “new”—I mean radical like fundamental. It’s not just part of my routine. It’s part of who I am now.
Because I’ve seen what life is like on the other side of sleep deprivation. I lived there for years—and I’m not going back.
At this point, sleep is a priority and a non-negotiable in my life.
It comes first because everything else depends on it.
Everything Gets Better When You Sleep
When I say sleep has changed my life, I mean it literally changed how I experience my life.
The quality of my mornings. The depth of my thinking. The joy I feel during free time. Even how I digest food or respond to setbacks.
These aren’t minor differences.
They are the difference between enduring the day and actually enjoying it.
It hit me hardest on weekends. I’d finally get a window of “free time,” the reward for surviving the week. But what good is a Saturday afternoon if you’re so drained you can’t focus on a book, if your eyes are heavy during a show you were excited to watch, or you’re too irritable to enjoy being around your own family? Even fun feels like work when you’re chronically tired.
And then there’s work itself. Teaching while sleep-deprived is torture. Trying to hold attention, think clearly, and respond intelligently while your brain is running on fumes? It’s agony. And it’s no better for the student, sitting in a lecture they can’t process, fighting to stay upright.
The Shame of Sleep Is No Shame
But here’s the problem: people don’t see it that way. We still treat sleep like it’s a luxury—or worse, a weakness. Like it’s a shame to admit you need it. I know that feeling. It was the way of my house growing up. You didn’t want to get caught sleeping. I remember the terror of hearing the car pull in—and scrambling to look awake. Sleep was indulgent. Lazy. Suspicious. And that mindset doesn’t just vanish with age.
It shows up in my students, too—especially in Korea. They’ll say sleep is what they want most, even more than food. But the moment they have the chance to sleep? They stay up. They scroll. They message. They fight the very thing they claimed to crave.
Some do it simply because they can. They finally have a sliver of personal time—no obligations, no oversight—and they spend it scrolling. Not because it’s wise, but because it’s theirs. (We’ll get to that.)
Others do it because somewhere along the way, they’ve come to believe that sacrificing sleep for one more hour of study is virtuous. That it builds character. That it leads to success.
But it doesn’t. It wrecks their brains. It breaks down their memory, attention, and resilience. The sacrifice isn’t noble—it’s self-sabotage.
You’re Not Sticking It to the Man
And it’s not just students. Adults do it, too. It’s called revenge bedtime procrastination—the refusal to go to bed because we want to reclaim “me time” after a long day of obligations. But that’s not rebellion. That’s self-harm dressed up as agency. You’re not sticking it to the man—you’re stealing from yourself.
(—still awake? Glad I haven’t bored you into a nap. Might be a sign you should subscribe.)
You Don’t Fall Asleep—You Go to Sleep
Sleep doesn’t just happen—you go to it. You choose it. You prepare for it. You practice it.
I had a junior high student for a 5:30–7:00pm class last week, and she had been up until 5:00am on Sunday night. (She often comes to my Monday class tired and sleepy, but still has a good attitude!) But this one was unbearable, and I could see we were not going to get through any of the work, so I told her to take a nap right there at the table, maybe ten minutes. She wrapped her hoodie up over her head and plopped down into her folded arms. She was gone within a minute. After 14–15 minutes, I gave her a light nudge for the wake-up, and she looked really groggy, red lines on her face. I was a little worried that it might have hurt her more than helped. But within a minute, when I asked her, she said, "MUCH better," and she seemed surprised that it was so effective.
The rest of our class was so much better. We both got more out of it because she was functioning like a human again. That’s how seriously I take sleep.
Sleep Is a Tool, Not a Treat
Sleep is a tool.
Not a luxury. Not a soft option.
It’s an instrument of performance, learning, and emotional stability.
When you’re underslept, everything is compromised—your energy, your focus, your joy.
But when you treat rest like a real asset—something you deploy with intention—it transforms your experience of the day.
And the work you do within it.
And I get it.
I used to think of sleep as something that happened to me. I’d fall asleep when I couldn’t stay awake anymore and hope it was enough.
Now, I go to sleep like it’s an appointment.
I prepare for it like a performance: dim lights, cool room, no phone, magnesium. Always socks off, one leg out of the blanket.
You’ll hear people talk about optimizing light, temperature, supplements, timing, breath work, or even tracking sleep. All valid.
You don’t have to do them all—but you do have to treat sleep as something worth structuring.
I don’t just wait for sleep—I do sleep.
Lie Down Like You Mean It
And that includes naps, by the way. A nap isn’t just flopping on the couch with your phone and calling it “rest.” That’s just lying down while continuing to stimulate your brain. A real nap is a conscious, chosen act of recovery. And it works. Whether it’s a 10-25-minute refresh or a longer 75-minute dip into deep sleep, it’s powerful. But again: it requires intention.
I go deeper into this in Part 2—how I use naps like a tool, the way I think about restoration, and how even ten minutes can change everything. If you want a fuller picture of how to build your life around sleep, don’t miss what comes next.
This Is Not Normal
You don’t need to be exhausted to need sleep. You don’t need to wait for drowsiness to know your body is ready.
This is the core of it: sleep is not passive. It’s a skill. A discipline. A life practice.
People say they’re tired, but they treat sleep like an afterthought.
They live in a state of near-constant fatigue, trying to “push through” the day. They pop caffeine, fight through brain fog, maybe even convince themselves that this tired version of life is normal.
This is not normal.
You’re not supposed to drag yourself through your day. You’re supposed to feel good.
And if you don’t? If you’re foggy, irritable, or emotionally fragile—it might not be your job, your diet, or your mindset. It might just be that you’re not sleeping enough. Or not sleeping well.
Make Sleep Your Power Move
You want a better mood?
A clearer head?
A leaner body?
Better memory, faster thinking, steadier emotions?
A life that feels lighter, richer, more yours?
Go to freaking bed.
Not because it’s radical. But because you now value sleep.
Ready to stop collapsing into sleep and start going to it?
If this post lit something up in you, Part 2 goes even deeper. It’s not just what sleep gives you—it’s how to make it inevitable, consistently and skillfully.Sleep isn’t just a priority—it’s a skill. Let’s train it.
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